Michael Carrick says he suffered from depression after 2009 Champions League final defeat

Former Manchester United midfielder Michael Carrick has opened up about the depression he suffered after their Champions League final defeat to Barcelona in 2009.

United lost 2-0 to Barcelona in Rome nine years ago, with Samuel Eto’o and Lionel Messi scoring the decisive goals against Sir Alex Ferguson’s side.

A loose header from Carrick gifted Barcelona the ball in the build-up to their opener, and he admits his depression “snowballed” from replaying that moment in his mind.

He told The Times: “It was the biggest low of my career by quite some way and I don’t really know why. I thought I’d let myself down in the biggest game of my career. I had won the Champions League the year before, but that was totally irrelevant.

“It felt like I was depressed. I was really down. I imagine that is what depression is. I describe it as depression because it wasn’t a one-off thing. I felt bad or terrible after some games, but then you get over it in the next couple of days, but that one I just couldn’t shrug off. It was a strange feeling.
“I beat myself up over that [Eto’o] goal. I kept asking myself, ‘Why did I do that?’, and then it [the depression] snowballed from there. It was a tough year after that. It lingered for a long time.”

The 37-year-old, who played for United for 12 years, said the depression did not subside until after their Champions League quarter-final win over Chelsea in 2011.

He also admitted that he never revealed how he was feeling to his team-mates, and how he wanted to leave the 2010 World Cup in South Africa to return home.
He added: “In 2010, that was the worst time. It was my dream to be at a World Cup but the truth is that I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to be at home. I was telling Lisa (Carrick’s wife) ‘I’ve had enough. I want to come home’.

“I wouldn’t have done but that’s how I felt. I kept it to myself most of the time. Even my family didn’t know the full extent of it.

“I have not spoken about it before. For the lads that I have played with that are reading this, this will be the first time that they know [about the depression]. They wouldn’t have known.”